Our Time in St. Louis

We are on a journey to Belfast, N. Ireland. We just returned from St. Louis where we visited Bobby's family for the month of August. It was a wonderful time to connect and adjust to our new life style for the next few months. We have plenty of hopes and dreams for the future, but we are currently discovering God's call for each day and in each moment. As we gain clarity for what is to come of the Orf Family (Diana Spencer is an honorary member) we will keep you posted. Until then enjoy the pics.

St. Louis

...to be BLESSED

Our family is still working out how we view life. There are a few things that we believe with solid assurance and sure enough we learned most of them in kindergarten. We believe that Jesus loves me, all of the little children and everyone who is in the world. To love and be loved are two of life's simplest and greatest joys. Life is meant to be lived with others not in isolation. Finally, (this is not an exhaustive list by any means) a man on the streets of Portland taught us the eloquent phrase, "The present is one of God's greatest gifts."

We are slowly learning to live each day as the result of a promise. We shall be blessed. Our challenge is the vehicles of blessing. Challenges are often thought to be hard, unwanted and generally difficult things to stay away from. Today, August 2nd, 2009 will mark a day where our family accepts God's challenge to follow him. Belfast is a place that we feel called to live and learn and partner with what God is already doing. Our hearts are open and yearn "to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead" Philippians 3:10-11.

Yesterday we surrendered the keys to our condo. Today Joy resigned from her role and compulsory income at Calvary. Even more challenging, we had a going away party where people lavished love, appreciation and blessings upon us. After yet another lesson of what it means to receive, we are quickly learning that to be blessed is a humbling position to be.

To all of you who have blessed us, thank you!

But to do justly too...

I appreciate your insights and reading recommendations.

So, we are going to begin our 4+ months of nomadic life this Friday. The implied stress of quitting your second job in as many months, signing your home over to complete strangers, naively planning an international transfer with a child under one year and a trusting wife, all based on the desire to surrender your stubborn will to God as you follow what seems like a whisper to some and a shout to others, but none-the-less a call that has lead to more uncertainty than our family has faced to this point in our existence as three may be keeping me up.

Another contributing factor to my insomnia is this question, which has plagued me all day.

What is the difference between Justice and Fairness?

Innately I know there is a difference between something being just (that which is right) and at the same time being fair (free from bias, dishonesty or injustice). But what are the nuances that make these two concepts distinct? I believe in justice being a worthy pursuit of our life's actions and a necessary measure if we are to deem anything good. Fairness conjures different parameters for consideration. It is not only elusive, but also naively sought after as good. Circumstances and people are too unique for all necessary factors to be weighed and returned as fair.

If something is fair does that mean that it is equal?

I have no desire to pursue equality in all things. I do not believe that justice is equal pay for a days work. As I understand justice it dignifies each individual as unique and worthy certain inalienable rights as a human being, but it does not go so far as to divvy up what other privileges one might obtain along the way.

My final question tonight. I will sleep only to hurry the time until I receive all of your intelligent insights.

In seeking justice for the oppressed are we striving to level the playing field or tilt the system in an entirely different direction?
If the later, what is a just direction to lean towards?

But to do Justly...

"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God" -Micah 6:8 (it's in the Bible)

You are now subject to my late night pondering, but this is current theme in our lives.

Lately Joy and I have had a lot of time to consider justice both in theory and in action. She is finishing a class on the Theology of Work and I am working on a project for the class I took in June dealing with faith based affordable housing. She works with the homeless and I am currently employed among the working poor. We are seldom on the receiving end of injustice. Sure, we deal with selfish people, opportunists, thankless tasks and the like, but we rarely know the plight of the oppressed. So, it is curious that justice would become one of the driving themes of our life.

People still ask, "Why Ireland?"

A clarification, of which we have only been asked by the Mulhollands who currently live in Dublin would be, "Why Northern Ireland?" It is an entirely different country with a different history, culture, scars and celebrations. We hope to be in Belfast come mid-October. Don't worry, we ask the same question of ourselves often.

It continues to be an incredible journey of faith as we set out on this adventure. Although a more pressing question is why is it always the underdog, why is it the oppressed, why do we seem to gravitate towards a counter-culture, why seek unrest when comfort has almost been handed to you on a silver platter?

I think that the short book of Micah, the life of the Apostle Paul, the prophet Isaiah, and the life changing message of who Jesus both said and was during his physicality leaves us with little doubt about what we are to be about and limitless questions about how it must play out in our lives.

What is justice?

It is that which is right. It is the foundation of human dignity. It is the mediator that brings uneven players back onto equal footing. It is so many good things and yet lacks many things that my humanity desires.

I want justice to be easy.
I want justice to be safe.
I want justice to be widespread, my first response, missed in its absence, accessible to everyone, inexpensive, prevalent, quick to be realized, the basis of each system I operate in whether it be family, employment, church, society, the world as a whole. I want justice and I am not unique in that desire.

What will make us different in life will not be our desire for justice. I believe that God imprinted us all with a desire for justice when we were uniquely designed. We become different when we act justly. We stand out when our pursuit for right is laden with mercy in a screwed up world. We will not be without hope in a losing battle when we learn to do all of these things as we walk humbly in the presence of our almighty Creator.

Why Belfast? Good question.
Why justice? You tell me...

Attachment Disorder?

Cruisin for the 4th!

Gotta stay hydrated!

Padraig and Diesel

who cares, Water!

Swimmingly

love water! We also hope that our children (currently, child) will love water too. Bath time is always a lot of fun and this is the first time that we were able to get Padge into the pool. Do you remember when splashing was almost all of the fun you could handle? Nor can I, but he loves it.

Government Work

For years I have mocked the role of supervisor in labor situations. I enjoy manual labor, but it will never compare to that feeling of promotion which comes when you finally get to stand by and observe others doing that same job.

I say this tongue in cheek, but I have been struck by this method of task structure and how it is now permeating the private sector. In the past week I have walked through no less than three retail businesses as an obvious manager stands with a few other skirts/shirts and ties to stare at some seemingly miniscule issue on the floor.

I am less bothered by the redundancy and more by the potential that this redundancy will cease to be a joke and soon be accepted as status quo. Deep down, I fear that there will be one more area in life that my structural superiors will have to view me as subversive.

Some of you know me well and others are just scratching the surface of my complex, regularly perplexing, highly emotive, seldom revolutionary existence. One thing that holds true to my outlook on life is that investment in personal relationship is a more substantial investment than merely gathering for with the goal of task/corporate advancement. That said, I have little affinity for meetings, especially those meetings that are under the guise of relationship and instead reinforce the dysfunctional redundancy that is becoming more prevalent in society.

I am contending with the economy of God's kingdom as it differs from the world's economy which seems to be in a current state of decline. Our families hope in moving to Ireland is to live according to a Kingdom economy that calls us to give freely rather than a monetary system that needs consumers to survive.

We will see how it works, but while we takes our bumps and bruises will you do me this favor and I will seek to share this mission. Don't stop meeting! But when you do will you not see your mission as deciding the conclusion of a task whether it be how clean is "clean" for the restaurant's fireplace window, which isle should the chips be located in, etc. rather look at those around you who could finish that task as competently as you could if they were given the freedom to do so and invest.

Redemption is Here!

FACT: Bobby has three weeks left as the director of middle school ministries at Calvary Bible Church.

My departure will have consequences, both good and bad. The beauty of where our family is headed is that the good heavily outweighs the bad due to one foundational truth that we continue to see in our lives and the world around us. We trust and serve a redeeming God!

I have made plenty of mistakes over the past 3 years 3 months and 26 days. Undisciplined communication, not running tight programs, and fostering debate(which can often be interpreted as dissension)rather than peaceful community among staff are a few of the weaknesses that I have displayed over years. The beauty is that I leave knowing that God can redeem the past and raise up another leader to care for the hearts of Calvary's middle schooler students and their families in a whole new way.

That same reality of Christ redeeming a broken world gives our family hope into the future. Why quit your job in the middle of a global recession? Why leave a house that is safe, comfortable, and has beautiful views to watch each day rise with the pink glow of the flatirons and then settle over the mountains? Why Ireland?

I cannot answer every question in life. I also cannot answer the limited amount that we face during this transitional phase of our lives. The one thing that I continue to see as my eyes are open is that this world is messed up and no matter how hard I try to be a "good person" I am a contributer to the exorbitant levels of crap. The flip side to that same realization is that I see those same situations being redeemed in ways that I could not orchestrate and which seems to cry out of a design and purpose that transcends all of the confusion that we place ourselves in with each decision that we make.

My quest is not to fix myself or every screwed up situation I find myself facing in life. My hope is to learn the surrender necessary to let myself and others be healed and the catastrophic circumstances that often seem to define life be made new. Redemption is what creates the space necessary for one of my favorite book titles, "This Beautiful Mess".

Play Time!

It's official!

Some of you may have received a letter, but we figure that if you are following posts on this blog you should also know what is going on in our lives. As of May 18th Bobby will be stepping down from his role as Director of Middle School Ministries at Calvary to create space in life in order to prepare for a move to Ireland. This seems to be an appropriate next step as we seek to intentionally follow God's call to our family.

We ask that you pray for us as we surrender income and in some sense security to move towards what we believe to be the next step.

Our roomie, Di

Many of you know that we live with our best friend, Diana Spencer.  She is the coolest, and we are so thankful to live with her.  There are some potential tensions in living with friends, but she makes it easy.

She is compassionate, funny, selfless and beautiful.  Anyone who has the opportunity to meet her is lucky, and as her roommates, we are the luckiest of all!

Di has been around since day one of our little boy, Padraig.  She loves him very much, and he is crazy about her.  As soon as she walks into the room, he breaks into a smile.  He just can't get enough of his Aunt Di.

There are some friends that are more like family, and Di is one of those friends.

When Hearts Break Open

My heart is sad...my mind is stilled...my soul is weeping.

My mom's cousin and his wife are in a state of shock and grieving as she lost her youngest daughter, her husband and their unborn grandchild as victims in an accident with a drunk driver. Even in this short moment to write a request for prayer that their family would know the peace and grace of our Lord during one of the most devastating moments of life my brow furrows and my eyes tear.

In honor of our dear family members please hold your children a little tighter and a moment longer.  Life is fleeting whether it is a day or eighty years...but the present is the only time we have to express how much we love those that are near to us.

The Tale of Two Cathedrals

We headed south today and stopped by the city of Armagh.

It is a small and beautiful town.  Di wanted to stop due to the remarkable people and events that have occurred in this town throughout Irish history.  

St. Patrick named this town the ecclesiastical city in the mid-400's.  This reality seems to have taken over the people of the town as it has two different yet equally magnificent cathedrals bearing his name.  The catholic version is ornate and around 160 years old.  The anglican version is less magnificent in physicality, but carries nearly 1600 years of history.

I was blown away by the distance between the two.  The proximity, as you will see is nearly nothing.  Relationally it seems to be as if the city is a great chasm and once you climb a hill you have chosen a team for life.  David, the caretaker at one of the sites shared that he had never been to the other. "Not for any other reason than, I haven't found the time."

The disparity between Catholic and Protestant seems to be less one based on hatred and more on an apathy or neglect to actively engage and pursue relationship with the other.  I did not leave judging the people of Armagh, but feeling convicted of the chasms in my own life and the apathy that I show towards crossing over them.

I appreciate that when we come to Ireland we do not feel as if we have arrived.  Both times we have returned home with a greater desire to live well in the present rather than quit life and hold out for the hope of a perfect future.

Why Ireland?

It has been good to travel with Di and Eisha.  One of the greatest additions from our last trip is their ability to ask questions and process through discussions and meetings with another set of ears and equally prayerful hearts.

One of our better discussions and bigger questions occurred around the fire during our last night in Belfast. Why Ireland?

Is it the beauty...the green hills are amazing, the water is refreshing and the country as a whole seems to carry a mystique as you leave Swords and start driving north into the country on the M1.

-but last night we were struck more with the similarities than differences.  The hills were covered with snow and they inspired thoughts of the beauty of Boulder (home). We have come to terms with the fact that a want for beauty is not what draws us to Ireland.

Is it the need...the nation has struggled to find peace throughout it's history.  Belfast almost always brings thoughts of bombs and unrest.  Reports of the increasing numbers of people in Europe who no longer belong to a church or believe in what the church stands for gives credence towards mission.

-but it was our uncertainty and lack of desire to fix something, start something, or claim ancestry that encouraged our N. Irish counterparts.  Whereas the cultural norm of U.S. success standards requires answers and a profitable agenda it was the desire for relationship and need to surrender that we are not sure of how we fit that seemed to excite those we met with.

Is it a calling...hmmm, ask us when we get back.

Antrim Coast

Antrim Coast

Goodbye to Belfast

We have enjoyed our slow mornings and late nights by the coal fires at our farm cottage, but it is time to get another taste of the Republic. In a couple of hours we will be moving to Dublin.  Yesterday was a lot of fun as we drove up the Antrim  Coast through the glens to Giant's Causeway.  

Reports continue to share that N. Ireland gets 1-2 days of snow a year if any at all.  If you take a look at some of yesterdays pics it is kind of surprising how accommodating this country is...they went to great lengths to make it feel like home.  The mountains are not as tall, the towns seem much more quaint and the ocean changes the scene entirely. But you tell us whether or these  look like the snow worn peaks of Colorado or a temperate climate that only gets rain 362 days a year. ( Disclaimer:  Hawaii gets the most rain in the United States.  Day count can be deceiving)

Yesterday was perfect for touring.  The sun came out and the wind blew the waves to add character to the coastal drive.  Once we arrived at the Causeway we all wished that it was warm and still so that we could just sit for ages, but we will have to wait until next time.

Also, Di and Eisha experienced their first pub.  I didn't get a picture but I believe that I read a sign that McHughey's basement has been in operation since the early 1700's.  It is weird to think of a bar that is older than our independence.  It was a bit dissappointing as they each passed on the thick black goodness affectionately deemed Guinness.  If I have not shared with you yet, it is a whole different drink when it is being poured on its home island. (Something about leprechaun magic.)  

Well, off to new adventures and we will update you soon.

Cottage pics plus

From New Album 1/15/09 10:58 PM

Tourist Time

We started with a couple of heritage sites on our way up to Belfast, but the rest of our trip has consisted with meetings to scout whether Ireland could ever be a possible home for the Orf's.  The past couple of days have been really encouraging.

Joy put it best when she shared that our last trip was an opportunity to meet Ireland and this trip is intended to meet the people of Ireland.  What we are discovering is that there are people whose hearts beat similar to our own.

Tomorrow is the beginning of introducing our friends Diana and Eisha to this amazing island.  It will be a short trip and is guaranteed to fall short of embracing the full beauty and mystique of the land and culture, but it should be sweet.  Our drive will begin at our farm cottage, of which I will include pictures and follow the Antrim coast to Giant's Causeway.

The past two days have contained 200% of Ireland's annual snowfall.  Good thing we come from the Rockies where it snows at least 6 feet a week.  All of us except Eisha who is from San Diego and had to cross the Atlantic to find some decent snow.

Bed Time?

It is 7:13pm in Colorado which is a little bit before my bed time.  Too bad it is 2:13 am in Ireland where I currently lay my head to rest.  I am not sure if it is the time change or the blessings of this day, but I can't sleep.  We met some new friends at Common Grounds cafe near Queens University in Belfast on one of the few snow days of their year.

We have hopes of eventually filling everyone in on what is happening on our trip, but it seems unlikely that we will be able to share the details up to date simply because we are in the midst of so many different experiences and trying

 to process them ourselves much less give a credible account.

One thing that is happening universally is our hearts are growing for the people of Ireland. (Yes, even the punk college kids that almost hit my four month old son with a slush ball)  Even though they get rain here on regular basis it was like snow in Dallas.  The city slows down and kids flock to all surfaces where the cold white stuff sticks so that they too can join the fun.

Here is a picture of the moon 7 hours early.  Go outside and check it out in a few hours to see if it is the same one.  We love you all!

Hello, Ireland!!!

Stories and pictures still to come, but we need to sleep.  It is 7:40pm here and we haven't slept more than a couple of hours between the adults.  The ladies are cooking dinner, Padraig is catching up on beauty sleep and Bobby is being awed by the warmth of a coal fire in the fireplace of our 1830's home for the next 4 nights.

Quick insight: 2.5 hour delay in Denver cuts into our anticipated 3 hour layover which leads to a 6:05 arrival in O'Hare's terminal #1 so that Di, Joy, Bobby and Padraig can transfer to meet Eisha at their 6:30 flight. (Waiting at terminal #5, which is not even connected to the other four terminals)  Some strained muscles, many pleas by Eisha on our behalf, a couple of nervous break downs in front of TSA officials and a lot of perseverance and we all...(I am sorry, but we are too tired to finish right now.)

...and we're off!!!!!

We are sitting at DIA and headed to Dublin.  In 23.75 hours we should be driving on the other side of the road with our friends Diana Spencer and Eisha Bohman.  If you think to pray for safe travel and divine appointments with the irish people please do.  We will be updating our blog with pictures, stories and prayer requests as we are able.

Count on no news being good news.

Joy's phone is able to send and receive text messages, but it is just short of highway robbery so only emergencies.

We love you all,

Bobby, Joy, Padraig, Diana

Life Is Battlefield

Life is a battle!

How often do we face that reality in a single day?

Even the best days of my life have been tainted by the ups and downs of emotions, relationship, weather, money, and anything else that can be colored by good and bad.

One of the reasons that there haven't been a lot of recent pictures of Padraig has been the battle that is revealed on his surface.  I didn't realize that I had pulled back from taking pictures until we were doing our evening ritual of lotions, oils and hydration tonight.  His cheeks and head are looking a lot better and I started to think of all of the pictures we should take before he ceases to be a baby and becomes the little boy that is right around the corner.

I say that the battle is worn on his face, because of an habitual wake up ritual that began about a month ago.  We de-swaddle our son and immediately his hands would go to his face.  At first it was cute to watch him have control enough to rub his eyes and stretch and itch.  It stopped being cute when I picked him up and kissed his damp cheek.

I thought to myself, "He wasn't crying"

When I left our room to let Joy sleep I discovered his bloody cheek which he had rubbed raw.  Since then he has scratched and gouged and more often than not worn socks on his hands to lessen the damage.

The current lesson that my son is teaching me is one of wisdom and discipline.  He is not yet able to connect his actions to consequences, but I am.  I say that life is a battle, but how often do I stand my ground and fight?  It seems too regular that I am reactionary or instinctive rather than patient and faithful in the wisdom that I am given.

Our new camera lens arrives in just a couple of days.  We will be posting pictures from Ireland and home as soon as we have them.  I will seek to share intentional shots that portray victory and beauty in a world that is distressed by the waves of bitterness and pride.

We invite you to take a moment and pray what it would mean for you to be patient and faithful.  Please share your stories of hope.  I believe more than ever that this world and the events of our lives are not neutral and I would like to be a soldier amidst an army.

Until then, I will seek to fight humbly for justice and mercy.

Shout out to James

We have a dear friend named James Nixon.

He decided that he did not like us anymore, and moved back to the land down under.

We miss him.

Alot!

Christmas always will remind us of James.  He would cook a series of amazing meals during the holiday season, each accompanied with beautiful place settings, fine wine and the best conversation.  

Sidenote - in Ireland, the art of conversation is called crack.  James has the best crack.

We have an "Ode to James" section of our house to remind us of James.  It includes a series of light up present boxes that he gave us, as well as a signed inflatable kangaroo.  I know not everyone has one of these blow-up treasures, and therefore would have difficulty picturing what such a creature.  See below.

Who doesn't want an inflatable kangaroo?  Well we have one, and we refuse to give it up.

James, this is a reminder that you have a family in Colorado who values the role you have played and continue to play in our lives.  We miss you dearly! 

If you ever want to move back, our loft is always available. 

So sweet!

New Album 1/15/09 10:58 PM

God must really like me

There are some mornings when I wake up feeling like the day was made just for me.  Today was one of those days.  The clouds crept down the flatirons this morning, and as I watched our street be overcome by the fog, I knew it - God must really like me.  For some, the sun is a source of happiness, but I often have an opposite reaction.  I love cloudy, rainy days.  I love that the fog makes everything seem mysterious.  Leaf-bare trees and plain buildings become romanticized when they are covered by the mist.  This is the weather of my people.  It was a pity that I had to go to work today, since I would have much rather sat at home and watched a movie or read a book.  I had to work today, since I have taken a few days to be sick this week.  Bobby has been very kind while I have laid on he couch doing nothing for quite some time.

Sidenote - Bobby can make really good chicken noodle soup from scratch!  Who knew?

So today I am thankful for a number of things

1. My little boy and hubby have not taken on any of my illness...yet

2. I enjoy Bobby's soup much more than the canned variety

3. God really likes me

Ouch!

We're back.  Thanks to those who encouraged me to keep signing in.  To be honest being able to put thoughts into words is therapeutic and I am often in need of...wait a minute.

I apologize if my pondering become too deep.  Padge wanted to chime in and he is a pretty deep guy.

Last night marked the first game of the "B League" Internationals.  Our soccer team is going places and Padge plans to ride our coat tails to the top.  Anyway, we lost 11-10.  It was a bummer, but the bigger pain came with about 7 minutes left when the other teams goalie intentionally stepped on my knee.  Yikes!

My first response was to tell him about the love of Jesus in his native tongue. (I think that it was French?)

I woke up to a limp and a lot of soreness.  During the replays in my mind my constant response was vengeance.  I couldn't figure it out.  He said sorry after the game.  Our team scored as a direct result to my true reaction which was to get entangled with him as I stood up.  Finally my leg is sore, but in about 5 years time it shouldn't hurt anymore.  (That's a correct estimate for a 30 year old's body to heal, right?)

I am blown away by the reality of grace and redemption.  Last night was a reminder that my personal reaction to blatant disregard concerning self and my well being by others is neither of those.  Thank goodness that I am not in charge of much in life.

The Point: I was pondering the frustration that I encounter at 4:01, 4:09, 4:13, ... in the morning when my son chooses to play rather than sleep.  It is a lot more similar to having my knee stepped on by a stranger than I would like to admit.  I have rights!  I should be respected!  I know how things should work! (These things really do scream in my subconscious)

The truth is, and I am guessing that fatherhood will reveal many more lessons like this one, that when I recognize the giver of grace and redemption those arguments are laid to rest.  Sure, sleep is nice and walking convenient, but I did not create the need or ability for either.  With a smile and a coo our son is teaching me how to be thankful in the midst of both pleasant and trying circumstances.  

He still needs to learn to sleep, but the giver of all things deserves recognition and praise!

PS.  If you are curious about how I respond to the goalie my knee should be healed by March 15th when we play their team next.  You are more than welcome to join us.

Too Long

I am not sure that anyone even checks this blog anymore.  I do apologize for the tardiness of the posting.

Today I spoke with a dad that is going in for his second ultrasound tommorrow.  He and his wife went to their first ultrasound a few months ago only to discover the absence of their baby's heart beat.  Today is a day that he is anticipating, and for all intents and purposes excited about.  I celebrate his choice to find hope in the midst of potentially scary circumstances.

Too often I choose to look at a singular instance and forget the magnificence of the Big Picture.  I value that we live before a God of justice, though I don't always understand the difference between justice and fairness.  More than that I am thankful that we live as the result of a loving God whose intended design is "very good".  

Too often we are reminded of the brokenness of this world which is contrary to what I believe to be God's revealed and intended design.  A common result is a projection of fear, rather than hopeful anticipation of the newness of each day.  My friend faces today with hope, but it is a choice to see this day as new and different than the harder ones that have gone before it.

Joy and I see this tension between hope and brokenness each day as parents of our son, Padraig.  When he wakes it is a day of new possibilities.  His smiles, his ability to track, sitting up (not on his own).  Right now his whole body is revealing the brokenness.  His skin is flaky, his face is scratched and more often than not he has poop in his pants, his stomach is empty and he is tired.

The lesson that I am learning from my son is to choose to return to the innocence that he possesses.  Each time we pick him up from a nap he stretches, rubs his eyes and looks into the eyes of those who care for him and smiles.  Today, along with my son and my friend who are discovering life in new and dynamic ways, I choose hope.